Be yourself; everybody else is already taken
Life has it that each story has got at least two sides to it. It’s like the reflection of the Moon into the sea. Within each reflected ray of the Moon in the flowing waves, you’ll perceive only an angle of it, one side of its story. Not the whole of it.
It would be only a mere reflection of the Mighty Moon. This is precisely the reason why being the leading role actor or actress – respectively, of your Life is a must be. Life is too short to be anything else than who you are. Just be. Be yourself.
To be or not to be
That is the question?
What you see in me is a mere reflection of Yourself
You haven’t been able to see me, because You aren’t
You cannot give away what you are not
If Love is not the “exchange currency” you are made of
It is not possible for you to perceive or receive Love
Not to mention, offer it
Should your dough breath in and out money and ambition alone
It is quite impossible for you to understand the concept of Love
For Love … What is Love?
It is more of a verb than a noun – I’d say
Actions do speak louder than words
That is Love
More of being and creating reverberations of
Humanity, Tolerance, and Compassion,
Cherishing the Now with Joy and Wonderment,
More of enjoying being and feeling WHO you are,
as you are being LOVED,
More of being happy and content at seeing yourself
mirrored in the eyes of the beloved ...
When Life throws characters at you, you turn their stories into reality shows!
Husband and Wife In the Living Room
“I can’t Love you like this? This I cannot give you.”
“When you proposed to me, why did you do it? I didn’t urge you to. Besides, the first time you proposed you were drunk … I had to wait for you to be sober and propose again so that I am sure you meant it. You were so looking forward to marrying me.”
“This thing you want of me I cannot give you.”
“The thing we call love? Well, then why did you propose in the first place?”
“Ok, then don’t. It’s not too late though, isn’t it? It never is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the obvious. You are telling me to my face that you cannot Love me the way I feel it. Actually, the way you have shown it back home. Do you remember how you’d tremble at the very sight of me? What has changed? It’s the very first year of our marriage, not the tenth, you know?”
“I am a gentleman, I gave you my ..... & ......., you should appreciate it!”
“No kiddin’! That is the change of heart, senor. You are the gentleman indeed.”
“Other women would crave to have a man like me.”
“Who is she?”
“I said who is she?”
“I am going back home.”
“It’s not as if anyone is waiting for you back there.”
“True. And yet staying here with you would be a harakiri situation.”
“Don’t you harakiri me!”
“Still, what made you think I was cheating on you?”
“Nothing.” And her mind goes like you had a pair of pants in the back of your car, and your behavior has been abhorrent of late.
“No, please tell me!”
“The pants… you have a pair of pants in the back of your car!”
“Nothing. It’s just your imagination.”
“Your mother burnt my arm with the Turkish teapot when she had the kindness to pour me tea. The expression on her face didn’t even budge right or left. If she stood there like a tree, why is it you didn’t budge?”
“Don’t you judge my mom! She was just being kind. She did pour you tea. You could have served it yourself. ”
“Touche! Just like I can go and fetch myself a glass of water whenever we visit your parents, right? This courtesy of hospitality is something en premiere for me. I find that quite shocking! I have never ever come across such a degree of wonderful hospitality in my whole life, neither on my European side nor on my Arab side!”
“What about my arm being burnt?”
“Sure thing you don’t hear, nor listen. You are both blind and deaf. Two wonderful traits in one man alone. Lucky me! And thank God your father reacted. “Mario” went out in a soul beat and brought me in the ointment for burns.”
Hmzzz. I wonder what his mother is made of. How could a female who has been put to the pain and turmoil of delivering a baby, has lived this I imagine magic experience, be soulless, cause a damage, and act as if nothing has happened?
What the heck? You know what they say: communication is the key in a relationship …
“My arm burn is aching.”
“You haven’t been cooking of late!”
“I am not your mom, I cannot love you unconditionally since you are not Love.
Your behavior and sour tongue have killed any feeling or inspiration I have ever had to prepare you anything. If you don’t treat me nice, I won’t cook for you.
That’s the drill!"
I cannot prepare anything, my heart is in pain.
She has her luggage all packed up and she is heading to the door.
All of the sudden, the wife sees the husband punching his head to the radiator, relentlessly.
“Thank God the radiator is not turned on! What are you doing?”
“You c a n ‘t b e leaving me!”
“I am not leaving you. I am going. You’ve asked me to. You said earlier on: I cannot love you like that.”
“ I didn’t mean it that way!”
“Well, then how did you mean it?”
“I don’t know. I hope you know what you're doing.”
“You have been ignoring me for more than a year now.”
Husband hits his head to the radiator.
“I have become invisible to you, therefore I must have my vapors vanish too.”
Husband stops and stares at his wife.
“Why did you propose in the first place?”
“Because you have a pure heart. Have you packed all of your stuff?”
“Yes. Mostly… “
Husband opens the door for the wife to go, no hindrance attached.
She exits the house.
The very day after it, the husband has the doorknob changed. The key in her hand is no longer suitable with the doorknob. It just isn’t.
It’s the wrong door. Thou shalt not seek to open it anymore.
Wifey left Husband according to the Statement of the World
It’s always the woman’s fault. That European should have put up with her Oriental self-absorbed husband.
Modern European witch! She was all for the money.
So what if he has had all the range of feelings change from the day Noe got on his Ark till the Fall of Constantinople, from being cheerful to depressive at a pace of a few minutes, resembling the colorful hand fan she was holding in her hand?
Besides, she is not just a European. She’s a hybrid, an Arab European. How come they have overlooked that?
He’s the Man. He has got the boncuk, the saint goodie, the ...you know what, a tiny very important detail.
I am telling you, man, you are very, very exotic!
You want me to work, become a Board Member in London and travel the world…
Also cook, if possible on a daily basis. How about I cook for you on my way home from the airport?
What kind of a Turk are you? If everybody were like you, nobody would have children in here. What is the mechanism that makes you so damn demanding and self-absorbed? Demand and give nothing in return.
If I were a mom I know I’d do my best to teach my son how to become a gentleman and a coherent man with a good heart. To me, that’s the main difference between a boy and a man.
“I have to go to Switzerland. It is there that I feel I am somebody.”
“You either feel that you are somebody or you don’t. Because you will buy the suit, and then there will be another suit. I know, I know. I get the feeling, I do feel like the lady with the twist when I am wearing the brand of shoes. And yet, all the je ne sais qoui that you’ll be happy or somebody as soon as you are wearing the red-soled shoes it's just not happening. It would be a piece of cake for each one of us.
No, no, no! Yes, yes, yes!
Everything emerges from within. You feel it, you think it and therefore, you become it! That’s where the secret starts taking shape.
Bipolarity is just not the way to it.
The one moment you say something and then, something else totally contradictory. What a lack of coherence!
"How did you manage to drive your way to work, man? Is this what being a man is about? One minute it’s black, then it’s blue, then it’s purple. With all this rainbow on your mind, how do you manage to see the colors of the traffic lights, earnestly?"
To be or not to be different?
“You shine too much.”
“Didn’t I shine before we got married?”
“Your Light is too much for me… I cannot let go of the Dark.”
“Well, let’s work on that. It’s not my aura that is your problem. Or the warmth or rays of my heart. It seems you haven’t been able to endure the Light of Love. It forces you to step off your island, to leave that corner you have been hiding in and ride your way through. Maybe that’s what you’ve been afraid of.”
“Do you think I can do it?”
“Of course you can. We all can! It’s just that sometimes we stumble on the way…”
“You must understand it's difficult for my family to accept you. They don’t know how to handle a hybrid.”
“I am only human, you know. My father’s family had no problem loving my mum, and she is a Christian European. Not only do they love her, but my uncle also used to peel the fruits for her, used to spoil her. They consider her a bint halal – a halal Lady and they are Arabs. So you see love and respect have got nothing to do with nation, race or religious creed. It just stems from the heart and reverberates on the way back to it. The rest is nothing but a boundary of your own mind.”
“Our culture is different!”
“It is not your culture that is different. It is you, as a family, that have landed from another planet.”
“Don’t you mess with my family!”
“I am not. It is you who have kept criticizing mine. They are not perfect and yet, you have been very well received and welcomed.
Besides now I do know your little, little tiny secret. This is what you have been hiding from the whole world! I just can't believe it that I couldn't see it. This is exactly why you didn’t want the world to see your true colors."
It is going to be a luuuv of a chapter … dedicated to this very story in Damascene Rose – the Book.
“You must understand Ms. Independent, that the first year of marriage is never ever good. Everybody has had fights when they got married. It never goes smoothly. ”
“Then you and your circle are just not the places to be.”
“What do you know? This is what love is all about. You have to put up with the rose’s thorns.”
“Yeah, as long as the rose is fragrant and vibrant. Your rose is dry. You just cannot expect to receive all of me, when you give nothing. Not even respect. One cannot expect to have a relationship, of any kind, when they don’t give respect.”
“Our ship is sinking. I want respect.”
“I can’t give you any. It is high time I embarked on my own ship. I am going to build it, a brand new one, petal by petal.”
“You are an unbalanced girl.”
“Of course I am unbalanced. I am the daughter of a narcissistic mother and I chose you for I loved you, although I knew it you wouldn’t be the father of my child. You told me the reason while we were divorcing. But there was more too it, wasn’t it?”
“I Love you, I do. I swear I do.”
“I know you do. I know you did. It’s just that there was a problem with the foundation, man. You just can’t play with that. Mocking other people’s lives is just not the way. I just want to be me. Why is it such a burden for you?”
“I am sorry. I got lost in translation.”
Back to the roots, to the basis of one’s being …
Oh Damascus, my precious foundation!
Let’s go on with the story, shall we?
Wifey and Husband
“Woman, you are totally unbalanced!”
“I know. I know.”
“I told you not to pack whenever we have a fight!”
“Your words cut me into pieces. It’s too painful and I have to run. It's just more than I can possibly bare. I just cannot stop the flood of pain pouring out of my heart.”
“You know you run away when I am being nice too.”
“Well, then I freak out. Because I am not use to being Loved. It scared the sxxt out of me.”
“Well, then stop calling me unbalanced.”
“We are both unbalanced. Two emotionally damaged. The major difference between us two is that I have always been coherent to my basis and to who I. Whatever displayed outwards came from inside and it was one and the same. “
Wife wipes off her eyes. It would take several long years for her to reorganize the shelves of her being. For her essence, she has always felt it. For long, it has guided her through the fog like a lighthouse. However, she had found herself amidst a very harsh storm.
Face OFF, Painful Times ON
“You have changed. You sun of a carrot, I will make you sweat. You’re damn right I will!”
“ I haven’t changed. I have just pretended very well until I got you to be mine.
Besides, I couldn’t leave you behind. In my own way, I love you, I do.”
“I am not yours. I am not a property. And you have got no idea what love is! And now that I have it all figured out, I will recreate the story. For we both know that I know who you are. Who you truly are!“
“Come back here, you European bitch!”
“Stop strangulating me. I said stop it. Your mom is the witch. She’s the one who has burnt my arm.”
Wifey does the Kung Fu jump on the stairs, while husband hits the wall with his feasts. Run fast, run for your life. The mad husband is having one of his fits again.
She grabs her keys and leaves the house. When she returns home, husby acts as if nothing has ever happened. All milk and honey, until the next episode.
Hold on! Oh, may God have mercy upon my soul. The waves are just too high and keep hitting my boat. I just keep being hit forcefully. I must stick to one wave at a time, or otherwise, I will drown at once for sure. Since my mind is already frozen, I can deal only with one fixed point anyway. I’ll just have to focus on one single wave hit, and not on all of them, although I am being flooded by them simultaneously.
However, if I ignore them, and numb the pain, and focus on the closest wave, I will be able to make it and see the light at the end of the tunnel, eventually. I must. It is my only chance. Succeed or succeed. I focus and decide spontaneously and very fast which wave will attack me first. All I have to do is bend like a palm tree, and hold on to my boat. Otherwise, I will drown for sure. And that’s not an option. I must survive this black painful depression!
To be or not to be educated?
You just can’t tell me everything that pops up of your mind like that.
I am the one who’s creative in here and I still don’t do that!
Your tongue cuts like a knife.
Dil kılıçtan keskindir.
Mother and Daugther in the Living Room
“You are a divorcee now. That’s what you are: a divorced woman!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Yes, you heard me right. You are a divorcee now. That is your social status.”
“So what! You’d rather have me put up with an abusive husband than just be?
Wow! How can you spit that to my face like that? “ (These two, both the mother and the husband do resemble so much in terms of the Art of Conversation.)
You speak as if you were born and raised in Arabia, not in Europe.
Watch some movies to see how Arab women and Orientals take care of their daughters, will ya? Or tell ya what, Turkish women are the best mothers to have.
They both cook delicious meals and do love their children, whereas you only cook delicious meals.”
“I have delivered you into this world, taken care of you and fed you. You show me some respect!”
“Yes, you are right! You have fed me up indeed. Here we go again. Stop invoicing me for every little thing a normal mother would do. You just can’t be playing this song whenever we try to speak. I have had enough of this. I am going to my place.”
My place is the best I have ever had in this space anyway.
It’s always been about us and our Garden of Roses.
At the shrink
“That’s good news. It seems he is willing to negotiate.”
“He is willing to negotiate what?”
“To go on with this. Willing to contribute to saving the marriage too.”
“Isn’t this what we have both been striving for? I just don’t get it. Negotiate what? I am in a mayday situation here. My heart is bleeding, my brain is frozen and I can barely stand on my feet. And you are talking about negotiation?”
“I meant he is willing not to let you go, to proceed with the talks.”
“I am not feeling well.”
“I know you aren’t. You are dealing with a situation of crisis management.”
“The hell with it. I am sick and tired of crisis… And still, that word negotiation might have triggered something.”
It’s always been about the currency. Some people trade love for money.
Had she wanted that dollar-dollar currency, she wouldn’t have chosen him.
He earned good money but wasn’t a rich guy.
She had no idea what she had gotten into though. Not even the slightest clue…
Sometimes, destiny is a bitch!
On her way to the Ritz-Carlton. The paparazzi blocking her way.
“Why did you leave him? Was it for the money?”
“Of course, it was all for the money! Isn’t this what it’s all about? All for the money-money. Always.”
Damn it! It’s such an incoherent world. Get off my way. My way is my way.
I’d better clean it pronto! Get rid of all this filthiness. A warm bath will do. I am looking forward to indulging my tender, colorful and fragrant petals.
Fernanda must have poured some water of roses too in the bathtub. I’ll just scrub every inch of my inherited skin with the beautiful petals of love until I have erased all the pus left by the backstabber. As they say in Romanian: “The silent fxxks the earth."
Rub it off, gently... Have the rosy foam wipe it all, from head to toe. Here you go.
The lukewarm water pours down on you and has it all released into the drain.
Once again, the Garden of Roses had saved her Life, rescued her from the abyss of putrefaction.
Out of 100% respondents, only 1% felt the vibration of what might have happened. 99% of the respondents irrespective of nation, religious creed or gender blamed the star for leaving her husband and didn’t even think of the slightest possibility of his having been abusive or guilty of any kind of inappropriate behavior.
She had been condemned by the laws of the cruel life with no right to appeal. Or to even utter a syllable in her own defense. The possible scenarios had already been written, directed and played by the species of the Illuminati, while she was sitting in her Garden of Roses watching them like a spectator.
Verdict: The Bitch Left Her Husband
When she least expected it, one more Miracle happened in her Life.
“You are My Fairy-Tale”, he had told her.
That’s what they were, two orphans brought together by the hands of destiny.
They did love each other very much. They might have been soul mates, as well.
And yet, the purpose of their union was totally different from what she could have ever conceived. There was much more to their marriage than what she knew or felt. A miracle had been orchestrated by the Divine to set in place the pieces and the outcome of what was in fact meant to be.
The very day she was born in Damascus, her fate had been sealed once and for good. She felt it with every single cell of her being, just like she felt Damascus in every heartbeat.
As for Istanbul - the City she had been pushed to by the same hands of Al Maktoob, the amazing City of Life, City of Energy and her adoptive mom had protected and sheltered her from the claws of the fierce and merciless War.
The Family of Souls had taken very good care of her indeed.
“When Life throws stories at you, you embrace them tight so that they come alive…”
This is an excerpt of the brainstorming which will lead to a much elaborate passage through the labyrinth of the Damascene Rose mosaic – The Book.
The plan of the book is to be drafted at the beginning of 2019. And hopefully - inshallah, in 2020 we’ll have the first volume of the book ready to be published.
The events are inspired by true facts and are farfetched to a certain extent, for the sake of the story.
Photo Credit: Pinterest