I Have Lost Her To Begin Loving Her
Mariam talking to Meryem. This time, Maria and Marie have joined in too.
# " I have lost her..." #
“I’ll tell you, boy, nothing compares to losing her.
If she truly felt for you and you let her go, well, my “friend”…
If you don’t lose her before the relationship actually starts,
If you don’t really feel the distress and pain of imagining her in the arms of another man,
If you don’t taste the loss and its intricate spices,
If you don’t fall in the deep abyss of pitch darkness,
when you see the shadow of what once was her genuine passion and love for you being given away to another man …”
And he intervened:
“You see it ain’t my fault; I have been fxxxing all the muchachitas out there for long.
No one stands in my way. Not even the door. My ego is as big as the Empire State Building. Who needs love when I have got it all? Fame, money, and power. I am handsome as hell, charming as fxxk and my spicy fragrance has them all fall on IT.
I can have all the women out there.
I romantically tell her all that, on our first meeting. I tell her “I like women. Yet, I feel something is missing.“
“A relationship, perhaps?” Maria asked.
“Yes. I’d like to kiss and touch and then if it pleases me, I’ll commit.”
“Mon Dieu! What a piggy approach!
What if she doesn’t like you?
What if there’s more to it?” Marie acknowledged.
Don’t tell him. Don’t speak ‘cause he won’t understand. Just keep silent. Silence is the perfect management. He is not there. He’s in his big head. Dwelling on the past, on everything not meant to last. Why not be present in the now? Give your best to the now and give Life a chance? Why mortify it? How to expect Life to respond to your wishes when you don’t allow for it? Maybe you are a monument of selfishness. Maybe, just maybe, you have had a despicable approach. And maybe she didn’t like you that much.
Despite your fragrance of riches.
And he thinks that having all will do. Actually, it will. Yet he won’t get love.
But fxxx. Cause that’s what he is. A xxxx!
See to your path. As the Arab saying goes, one day you shall stumble into Love. You fall in love with another guy. Truly. For truth has the highest vibration of them all. So he, the Macho, will sense the loss. He doesn’t care about the truth. Since you gave him the truth and he didn’t believe it. Some things you don’t talk about. They just happen.
The moment he actually indulges the feeling of losing you that is when he’ll start feeling for you. It will cut like a knife. Painfully. It’ll sting the heart.
The heart will bleed. It is the very moment he has lost that he realizes your presence.
For a reason unknown, people need to be treated badly, be ignored and even be left, in order to love you or remember you. Sometimes truth won’t do. Loving them? Say no more. Leaving the country? Good option. The macho takes those keynotes called feelings and flushes them with the first shower.
And Maria bursts out:
“What happened to us being one, butthead?
Damn you for all the lies. Said I was your princess? Said you weren’t sure? Said you were awaiting the proper moment?"
There’s never ever a right moment.
If you can pass her by, it is yourself you’re choosing, every time.
Maybe she wasn’t ready either. She just had to seize the moment, to never ever regret it.
And that’s why she sees to herself and her path every single time. There was nothing to hold on to, in there.
Nobody teaches better than life. And the student exceeds the master. Always.
Eventually, she did exceed all of her masters.
Years have passed. Nephews have grown into boys.
Ladies have reached menopause.
That was the right time.
The macho stepped in; asked her out for coffee.
Ego? Too much indulgence? Narcissism? Or maybe all the aforementioned spices combined.
Because when he actually feels she is no longer into him, although he is clever, handsome and rich, the “Greek God”, the messed up, that’s when he’ll understand she was for real. She wasn’t a player, like him, but a lover. Unfortunately, she had to meet him to understand what being a lover was. It is only by meeting the opposite than we actually come to discover ourselves.
As Alexandru, one of the characters of the book to be used to say:
When you take advantage of an inextinguishable source of love, one day you wake up to not finding that love, there. The song hits you in the face: “Love don’t live here anymore.” That’s when it will sting. That’s when you’ll truly understand how much you’ve hurt her. Deeply and madly.
Time for the French pirouette. Marie intervenes.
“Mais oui! What were you thinking of? How could you allow for the amour to pass you by? She’s gone, monsieur! She’s making out by the Eiffel Tower.
Will you want him back?
We got only one and one life alone. Why would you be giving two chances to the same person? Did they give or bring more love to your life? The question is: the person who comes back, are they the same or have they got a brand new identity? Will you have this new person come into your life? After all, this might be the secret of a successful relationship. Taste all the possible loss and perdition before actually embarking on it. Losing before actually living.
How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends? How can we start over when the fighting never ends? Micheal Bolton sings across.
He’ll have to fight and make plans to actually earn it, not to conquer. To sew seeds, to “create” exquisite scenarios of genuine interest. Pave the path with roses and good intentions. He’ll have to work out his mind to get to her. Squeeze his mind for it! Be constant and perseverent. Otherwise, she won’t have it. He had her heart burnt in HOT oil. As our Romanian saying goes: once burnt with soup you'll blow in the yogurt. What you’d call “once bitten, twice shy.” And who needs a macho anyway?
Water lily, is that you?
Are you one of that rara avis in for love?
Are you for real?
Who is that light?
By the time they’d make up their minds,
A starry soul comes along.
The Divine Man
Speaking of true Love,
For it is amidst the chaos that miracles do emerge,
Just like water lilies
Photo: Unsplash & Damascene Rose