The Day I Loved Myself
“When will it be ready?”
“I dunno, lieutenant. Books and stories command us to recount them when they find it suitable. We’re under their command, not the other way round. Of course, there’s planning, and structure, and plot, and characters. All that turns upside down or takes varied unexpected curves when the story chooses its path. That very moment, my dear friend, all we can do as writers - is embrace the magic pen and succumb to the force of the story. The inevitable. The written - Al Maktoob.”
As I was brainstorming for my book in progress - namely the first draft of it, this excerpt came along.
The day I loved myself - everything changed. Relationships... Business... Entourage... Energy shifts... Vibration increased ...
The day I loved myself - I accepted myself for who I am. Subsequently, I washed all the bruises away with the balm of the roses.
Mother babbling and giving unsolicited advice from her narcissistic realm of “me, myself and I” didn’t interfere with the frequency. Not even close.
Relatives and people asking questions from the pit of curiosity - hit the wall. Far away.
Unsuitable demanding projects - bounce, baby, bounce!
People not minding my wants and priorities - accolade above me. Gone with the sands...
Unloving people invading my personal space with their boots full of mire, pushing and trespassing of common sensical communication boundaries - upper-cut. Hit the wall. Once again.
I am an imaginator writing down my thoughts. Pouring my feelings into the Fountain of Life. If anything, one sunny day, someone will be sending the bucket down the well, pulling it back with the water of our roses, of our story, Fares. All our beautiful memories will pass on to them.
The day I loved myself, Fares, the sun warmed, tightly, and I was back home. Days seemed longer and the calm serene nights - darker, hence the stars - brighter.
And I just couldn’t. The heart wouldn’t. Overflowing with love, descending from up above, I had to, I had to - let go, of it all.
I had to embrace the new era.
No Dirham, no USD, no lira.
It had to beat it - right over here, in the very heart of the matter. Of all that matters. Truly.
The day I loved myself, I ate healthier. As healthy as I could. I learned how to take care of myself. Eating meals full of nutrients... spending time wisely.
Taking care of myself, meant caring for my family of souls - my tribe, and at a larger scale - for humanity, at large.
Getting stronger, and stronger, in this new planetary dimension we’ve all embarked on body, mind and soul.
The very day I loved myself, I felt enough.
Finally, I’d realized I was enough.
I am who I am was all that mattered.
Suddenly, there were no questions, but answers:
Guidance of our archangels descended upon us all,
Planet Earth was Home.
Had dolphins surface - all along the waters of Venice.
”Ciao, Bella!” he’d address her.
He, Fares of her dreams. The knight (in Arabic) we all, ladies, have imagined, every now and then. Mariam - someone’s half. One day - soon, very soon!
Nature would resume its course.
Even better, would flourish as never before. There was no more pretense, there was real. Imperfect as it may be, real brought about the best in us, as I - Mariam, as you - Fares, as I human, as you humane. And humanity revived. Bit the rose out of the virus, springing out Compassion, Empathy and Love. And humanity appreciated.
”Now” and ”I am” became all there is.
A new mindset emerged.
A new era surfaced - the day I loved myself.
I loved and that was enough.