On The Road To Damascus…
I Discover Her Beautiful Churches
"As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.” RUMI
Al Zaitoon Church -- the Old City of Damascus
I didn’t know where the road led me. I took it anyway.
And I had to walk it, all by myself.
Isn’t this how the story goes? Perhaps, always?
Quite often, I’d be very scared. Even frightened.
And — I’d go on walking.
No one has taught me how to cope with the challenges of the past bloody decade.
Nobody has taught me when to stop loving people.
No one has shown me any kind of way.
The way of Love … The way of Business… in Romania.
Nobody taught me how to defend myself.
Cognitive dissonance did it for me, many times.
People imagine or see what they choose to see in the story. Thanks to the cognitive dissonance, more often than not, it is what it is imagined -- and not what is. What the story is. And that’s free of charge self defence.
The road led me to personal growth. And to a Phd in survival mode.
I learned. Kept learning. And went on the road.
Quite oft, whenever the Humans I dealt with showed me the colours of their ways, I’d choose to walk alone.
My mindset wouldn’t resonate with their system.
And I went on. Walked the road. In time, I’d find myself having created a new system, set a new road, or a new market.
My being couldn’t cope with the either/or kind of approach.
What if my road includes both the either and the or?
Face to face, with clever, endowed, and spirited gentlemen, there would still be much of the cup
of me unfilled and/or unfulfilled.
I’d get scared of myself. Why is the cup of me still not filled? What’s this infinity of my self?
Am I a bottomless pit?
At times, I’d stand in front of luminous and glamorous gates I’d want so badly.
By God, this is it! "He must be the Man of My Life”, the story said.
And I would wish with all my heart for those gates to open up for me.
In vain, my dearest, they wouldn’t open. Not even a tiny bit.
The beat and tempo of my heart wouldn’t be recognised.
I’d be invisible.
Unseen and unheard.
I wouldn’t be recognised. I’d be wanted, like a possession, though.
A trophy to be exhibited to the world.
But not as my self.
Give, if you shall, and thou shalt get.
Should you give, thou shalt receive.
Now that’s pure, authentic, unconditional love! Isn’t it?
I don’t take any risks, but I’ll have you stalked anyway. Control is how I love — is the Lord of Coherence’s style. And here we have got affective & love pattern dissonance! God bless balance, the amazingly unique balance of you, Lord of Coherence, and God bless us All.
Nevertheless, the compensation for the damage you have caused hasn’t found its way through yet.
And this is how I have learned patience and listening.
I have learned feeling the pulse of life.
And most importantly, I knew I’d have to go on walking on “my road” until I’d stumble into something. Or someone? New horizons? New…?
A new road appears in front of my eyes and new possibilities emerge.
A road which, perhaps, hasn’t been walked by many.
By God, I didn’t feel comfy getting on that plane. Al Maktoob — destiny had me too.
I sensed something wasn’t OK. I was commanded by Higher Power to get on with it.
And this — I call Destiny.
It’s amazing where roads we don’t wholeheartedly want to take eventually lead us to.
The Divine Way has a sort of a bunch of ways wrapped in a Rose.
In my case, it’s always the rose. What of you? How does your way look like?
Not having any choice is also a way. Don’t you think?
The 0,000001 % Divinely assigned way.
There is no way, so one walks their way through.
And the road opens up. It always does, at a given moment in time.
I guess it's what they call Divine Timing... and it's beyond us.
The Divine breeze of the Universe leads through.
A Roman stone gate overlooking to
the Umayyad Mosque's Minaret
I have often been asked: What’s your plan?
And I’d respond by keeping silent.
I’d feel: God is smiling at me, overseeing the plans I am making.
As for the full lockdown, of my being summoned not to budge, God knows what bullet or bullets I have dodged this time.
Yet, baby I am to spread my wings and fly…
And as we speak, it feels like I am faithfully walking toward the citadel of Damascus.
Like Saul did in his blindness.
Sooner rather than later, the scales on my eyes are to be removed, too.
After all, I am being guided by Her light.
I shall see the end of the road.
Or is it the beginning of my path?
I can’t see it yet. I will… when the Divine Pendulum Clock will mark the silk timing.
Silk and velvet feels the timing of the damascene rose.
For now, I am walking the last minutes of fog, the foggiest before dawn, as Her Light leads me by the hand.
And on the road, I discover the beautiful churches of Damascus, in her very Heart.
The Lady of Damascus Church
I know my grandpa — Jdo had his workshop on the Straight Street, the only street mentioned by name in the Holy Bible.
I know it is on this very street that the Christian known as Ananias of Damascus baptised Saul as Paul the Apostole.
And I faithfully and wholeheartedly know the Way is to be revealed to me also.
For the Skies split open. They surely did.
They do, on the road to Damascus:
Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could not see a thing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus:
“About noon as I came near Damascus, suddenly a bright light from heaven flashed around me. I fell to the ground and heard a voice say to me, ‘Saul! Saul! Why do you persecute me?’
“‘Who are you, Lord?’ I asked.
“ ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting,’ he replied.
My companions saw the light, but they did not understand the voice of him who was speaking to me.
“‘What shall I do, Lord?’ I asked.
“ ‘Get up,’ the Lord said, ‘and go into Damascus. There you will be told all that you have been assigned to do.’ My companions led me by the hand into Damascus, because the brilliance of the light had blinded me.
Light from Light
So Ananias went to the house, and when he arrived, he placed his hands on Saul. "Brother Saul," he said, "the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here, has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit."
"suddenly a bright light from heaven flasheS around me.”
Happy Catholic Easter 2021, filled with Love and Light.
Photos — inspired by Levant, Cafe Levant Damascus, UK (London & Manchester).