Yes, I have. I have always dreamed of having a beautiful family. I am no different than the Lady Humans out there, in need of love, tenderness and affection.

I kindly ask you to facilitate a meeting for coffee, if you will. Maybe feeling my dryness will help.

In the meanwhile, please understand that I DON'T FEEL for you ... as a woman.

Please understand, it's not that I won't.

I can't!

My womanity does not feel for you.

Either you feel it or you don't.

Love matters are gentle.

Can't be commanded. Most probably they don't command feelings, not even in the military. I don't know why, spirit urges me to say this.

The very moment my eyes met the pregnant woman you had planted in front of me, I blessed her and I felt DRYNESS and panic at the very thought that I could be embraced by you, in that sense.

My womanity cannot feel for you.

There is rejection on her behalf.

#100%!

Please understand that I can't command my womanity.

Either she's hot or not.

Life is as simple as that!

"What is the percentage for you to tell me the TRUTH?" you once asked me.

"The Truth is this. 100% -- I can't feel for you as a woman. "

All I have is friendship and companionship for you: 100%.  You've needed a confidante. I am one, and a good one, I dare say. But I can't feel for you, as a woman.

I kindly ask you, for the 1001 time, to STEP ASIDE, as a man.

I can't open up for you because I don't love you as a woman.

(Un)fortunately, I am not cut out for it.

Think of it, will you?

Had I been able to love and give away my womanity, by command,  I wouldn't have been single today. Even more so, I might have chosen a career in Hollywood or perhaps, Bollywood?

Should I become a mother, in terms of delivery, it must stem from a SEED of LOVE. For me, there is no other way!  My way forward to "Damascus" is my only way. I can't see any other way.

I have nursed and taken care of both blood family and soul family members, at least like a mother.

Please give me a break!

Please open up a road ... for me to move away.

Being with you is not the way.

Nobody can freeze and then unfreeze their feelings by command.

I CAN't do it.

I CAN'T.

*

Last night, I couldn't sleep.

I thought why don't I give it a try or at least, consider it.

But I can't.

You can't be the father of my children.

Seeing that pregnant woman rang the alarm bell for me.

I can't love you, as a woman!

I swear to God I can't. It's not that I won't. I can't!

Moreover, I CARE for you, VERY MUCH, as a COMPANION, FRIEND, and SOUL family member.

But NOT as a Woman!

No, says my womanity. She won't listen to what my mind might tell her... sometimes.

And spirit urges me to HANG IN there.

Dearest Mother Mary,

I beg of you, please have him understand.

Oh, Mother,

Have my way open, as soon as possible, in Divine Timing.

Love is feeling. Not commanding.

P.S. Water Lily is another Character of Life.

And that -- is not yours, it is not your path.

Every Rose has their own lot in the Garden of Roses.

Please DO abide by the Laws of the Universe where stepping into somebody else's energy is not called empathy. Rather, intrusion at its very best. Let us stick to Gustav Klimt's paintings, shall we? And leave the Water Lilies to Monet.