A Puzzle Breaking Loose…

When things break, it's not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It's because a little piece gets lost - the two remaining ends couldn't fit even if they wanted to.
The whole shape has changed. - John Green


Oftentimes, my dearest, life turns out to be a bitch.

Nevertheless, life is life.

And, should Life give away only crumbs... it is upon us to cling to those crumbs, infuse love into them, until they grow into puffy pancakes and slices of cake, and then birthday cakes, and later on, into joyful, colourful fans, layers, sheer layers of transformative feeling.

In truth I tell you, my dearest, when life throws crumbs or bitchy times at us, we ought TO LOVE even more. And, that's too hard a challenge to do. To the very least, for me, it has been hard, every now and then.

At times, it could hurt and bleed for years on end. It did, it did, in my case. In the here and now, my Life feels infused with multidimensional and multicultural LOVE.

Though, oftentimes, it might have felt as never-ending centuries, though I might have given away LOve and received Puss instead, I have always known, in my heart, that at a given point in time, the Universe shall intervene... in my favor.

How shall the Universe intervene? is a question whose response depends very much on the Story.

Believe and have faith in the STORY CODE when it tells you your story is yours alone. Yours to live, yours to create and yours to transform. Its denouement can't occur unless its time has come.

People will judge, people will comment, people will always have a say about our lives. Even though, they can't swap themselves into our hearts. Feel our angst, excitement or fury. People can't feel what we feel. However, they can tell us how and what we are supposed to feel.

Good news though!

Our people won't need any explanation. They will need nothing but our sheer presence.

For, there are no two stories alike.

Even twins distinguish themselves through  their unique differences.

At this point of the post, Jorge Bucay's words come to mind:

"Similarities enable us to be together.
Differences allow for our being together to be in our own benefit."

The Puzzle


Who am I to write about breaking pieces and entangled threads when that little piece seems placed, replaced and transformed by God Almighty?

Who am I to try to hold things glued together when they are doing quite well as they are broken, immersed or afloat in their own state of being?

Who am I to try to contain, arrange and place the missing piece of the puzzle when... the Divine Breeze has made sure to blow away all the pieces into the Winds of Before the Pandemic?

Who am I to try to understand the Funny, "Happy Rabbit", a Character of Life, who seems and feels glued to me? Tavsan bey... Mr Rabbit!

Who am I to wish to be accepted for who I am, now? I have turned 40, in June. Expecting me to have the energy of a 20-year or a 30-year old girl when I am a 40-year old girl... well, that could be ... not quite rational. And yet, it is possible. Everything is possible.

Who am I to love people as they are, for who they are and for all they can be and for all they can't be?

For certain, who am I to tell her what to eat, dress, look like when her income has been divinely blocked for a couple of years?


Who am I to think of the following question: "My darling, will you...?"

Who am I to speak it loud and clear when being a shell and an image is all they and we are looking for? Or, when speaking it softly... and falsely, could be much more rewarding?

Who am I am to love Politeness and Elegance, as inherited from Mamaie Eugenia and my darling father, Abusamra...although at times, it is simply impossible to cling to it?

Who am I to imagine one ought to react when subject to a shelling of "penetrative intrusion"?

Who am I to go back through the labyrinth of time searching for answers when the answers are in the now?

Who am I to glue things together when the pieces of the puzzle are good as they are? Scattered about, uncertain, unknown, undecifered.


They've asked me time and time again, what happened? The Rabbit, a character of my life, has always told me everything happens !Now! Well... my dearest, keep telling yourself that. All of the answers you have ever searched for are hidden in the now of back then. All of it. Only your eyes failed to see it. Perhaps you could have counted on your heart to feel it. Even better, you are feeling it now. And that's a serious progress even for a shy rabbit. Sevgili Tavsan bey ... Tavsan!

And most of all, who am I to think of or plan anything when the Divine Mind has already planned it and set it all in place... For, even in my wildest dreams, I couldn't have foreseen that a day would come and I'd get to live what I am living right now.


The Rabbit of the Night

slipped through the Sewer of the Skies,

sneaked in,

and watched over her,

as night's candle melt.

Henceforth, Mariam wondered to herself:

"I hope I look pretty while I am asleep."

"Only Love, only Love remains... eventually!" (inexact quote based on:)
-- The Rosary, Florence Louisa Barclay

#Intermingled excerpts from my stories in the making.

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